The tragic death of the mix tape

There used to be a time when one would spend hours, or at least a solid hour, going through songs and putting a collection of music together on a cassette tape, and then / or in later years, a CD.

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This “mix tape” (as I’ll refer to it regardless of tape or CD) was created out of affection for another one, as a late modern-age token of one’s affection for another.  The youthful crush, the memorable trip / vacation, or the relationship with songs that both inspired and reminded us of one another — sometimes people used these songs to send a message of how one felt for the other, a possible connection to be created by eliciting feelings of affection and gratitude in the words they couldn’t find to speak themselves to move the heart and mind of another.

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It was the musical grail, the token of hopeful commitment, the stuff country songs and romance movies wrote about of young love in an old world.

Then the internet came along to shrink the world, open our minds to endless possibilities and make us think about things in a new way, creating instant ways to learn how to fix a sink ourselves through DYI videos, instant new release movies without the hassle of returning it with late fees, music in the palm of our hands, any song we wanted without having to listen to other music or even commercials while hoping to hear our favorite melody.

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The mix tape brought forth our favorite songs and the words we couldn’t say directly to the ears of that special someone, as a way to say “you have my feelings right here, so think of me while you listen.”

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The last great bastion of romance in a modern age, the analog and digital dance of romance which brought through, in a few short decades, illuminating desires before bursting into a bright light of love — and then dying out.

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The gift of love — the act of handing someone a mix tape as they take in their hands, the significance of them accepting your gift with a smile and appreciation already said what you couldn’t before they even listened to the first song.

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Now, as romance and acts of appreciation from spending hours creating something special for someone does a tragic death, the world should mourn more for the death of the mix tape, not just for the actual thing itself, but what it represented as each generation replaces it with just uncouth messages as the “slide into their DM’s” with caveman-like messages of incoherent words like “what’s up girl?” And other garbled sentences that reduces the idea of anything meaningful that the mix tape once said for those that couldn’t come up with the right words to say.

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People have always said dumb things, inappropriate things, and possibly scared off any notion of making a connection, but the mix tape said what we cavemen could not… it spoke for us in a poetic combination of words and harmony to express our thoughts and emotions onto the special person we wanted to spend our time with in the hopes of something more.

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The death of the mix tape not only killed a once honorable act of affection, but reduced people back to their own words, those insecurities of trying to sound cool, or just a complete idiot not knowing how to touch the soul of a woman’s inner most beauty - her mind and heart.

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The death of the mix tape killed many a relationship that never existed, made women feel as if most men are idiots “sliding into their DM’s” with a stupid comment, and leaving women no choice but to accept this is how it is, until one day the memories of mix tapes become a myth, and some began to wonder what that felt like to create, or receive, such a gesture of gratitude.

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Technology opened our minds, gave us instant access to everything, and killed modern man (meaning men and women) because we no longer require patience to wait for our favorite show to come on once a week, use critical thinking to find our own way around a strange city, nor take the time to create a gift of something special for someone, such as a mix tape.

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No one under 25 will miss the mix tape, they’ll never know of it as anything more than finding their parents’ old belongings, with a story they were once told many years ago how their mom or dad wooed the other with a mix tape - whatever that means.

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One day an entire generation of retired people will read a novel / a love story about someone making a mix tape for someone else and have to look up (or ask someone) what was the point of that… they’ll never know the excitement, nor the awkwardness, of someone handing them a special collection of songs put together over hours, just for them.

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I don’t know what the equivalent is today, or in the future, of the fallen and almost forgotten mix tape. I don’t know if there is an equivalent to such a lost form of affection, but if there is, I hope they never stop the tradition of spending hours putting together a special collection of something for someone else as a way to let another person know that they appreciate them enough to create a collection of emotions, with the words of others that we can’t find a way to say to them ourselves.

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I think the reason so many relationships don’t work today is because love and perfection isn’t instant - if at all.  Couples have to work on themselves, and together, to constantly improve and grow over time, regardless if they ever have a perfect relationship or not — being patient and waiting on everything before now made relationships better because loving and having a family and working together is the only thing that remains in this world that isn’t instant, and with shrinking attention spans and loss of patience, people call it quits before they have a chance to find out how beautiful something might be, because it wasn’t instant — and sometimes the instant connections that do happen seem to stop suddenly and people are left wondering what went wrong.

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The mix tape, in my opinion, represented dedication to complete something — which taught to us to see things through to the end, it expressed more than just music and going out on a limb hoping the other person would accept our gift. Sometimes you might have to listen to 8 songs before the moment hit you and maybe it was the second verse of the first song, but either way we had to be patient and wait until we felt something and nowadays nobody wants to wait on anything.

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I’m afraid the death of a mix tape is the beginning of the end of the long term romance.  People pair up but they don’t feel that feeling of appreciation because someone took the time to create something just for them, in hopes the music will say what they can’t in an inspiring way to make them feel the same way.

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Take the time to make your special someone a mix tape — they might laugh at first or wonder why you’re being weird, but then they’ll appreciate that you took time to step back 10 - 15 years to show that you appreciate them and say what you haven’t been able to say for a while.

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Don't let the romance die. It’s more than a piece of plastic, it’s an invitation to commitment and appreciation…. And it just ain’t the same sharing a playlist on your phone — that’s not the same thing.  Put time into it.  Show her she’s worth the time… the years, every minute of your life together.

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Down with the DMs!! 👎 BRING BACK THE MIX TAPE!! 👍 Be a man!! (or woman) — and hand it to her yourself, in person. Don’t hide behind social media or a text message.

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Bring back the ‘mance.

Re-mance your romance and save the human race.

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