The bingo time limit crime: "B 68 you have a court date!"

The Sunday Column, by Chuck Thompson

OPINION / HUMOR – Recently, I learned that in North Carolina it is illegal to play bingo for more than 5 hours in a row… My question is, why would anyone play bingo more than 5 hours in a row and what happened at the 5 hour mark to come up with that rule?  So at 4 hours and 55 minutes, everything is fine, but at five hours Gertrude had a fit of rage and flipped the tables over?  What’s with the 5 hours…

Personally, I think it should be illegal to play bingo for more than an hour; maybe illegal to play if you’re under 75, I don’t know. I’m not a bingologist; I don’t have a PhD in Bingo-psychology, much less a certificate that qualifies me to host a bingo game, but I’m curious to know why such a law exists.

…… seriously, what happened after playing Bingo for 5 hours for such a law to go into effect at that time?

I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about this 5 hour bingo law. And I still don’t have any answers about what happens after 5 hours.

I can’t help but wonder if it’s like a Gremlins situation or something..  “Don’t feed grandma after midnight, don’t let her wash her hair, and don’t — and I mean DON’T under any circumstances, let her play bingo for more than 5 hours…. Do you understand?”

All I know is what the law states. According to NC General Statutes § 14-309.8, “The number of sessions of bingo conducted or sponsored by an exempt organization shall be limited to two sessions per week and such sessions must not exceed a period of five hours each per session. No two sessions of bingo shall be held within a 48-hour period of time. No more than two sessions of bingo shall be operated or conducted in any one building, hall or structure during any one calendar week and if two sessions are held, they must be held by the same exempt organization. This section shall not apply to bingo games conducted at a fair or other exhibition conducted pursuant to Article 45 of Chapter 106 of the General Statutes.”

Did anyone else’s head explode reading that bingo calculus? You can’t do this or that for so long in the same building in the same week…. Unless... you’re at the Cleveland County Fair (shrugs shoulders)  Oh okay, so remember this complex law regarding bingo – but if you’re at the Fair - psgah, it’s fine! No worries… forget all that you read.

If that’s not a way to go around your ass to get to your elbow, I don’t know what is - just to contradict yourself. Think about it, folks, if they’re that complicated in their wording about Gertie and Ethel breaking the law playing bingo, unless they’re at the Fair – and then all bets are off and the fist fights can break out at senior citizen night at the County Fair as far as anyone is concerned, they’re on their own then – nobody made you go to Fair, proceed at your own risk… just imagine how complicated other laws are in this state, much less the country.

Since we have an election coming up in 2026, I’ll probably vote for whomever introduces a bill in the NC General Assembly to have this law overturned. That takes a real set of bingo balls to make that happen, and that’s the type of leadership we need in North Carolina.

“A 4, bring it to the senate floor!”

But I have to know what happens past the 5 hour mark when playing bingo for that to be the legal limit. Let’s call it a science experiment, or just a bad idea, but I’m thinking about organizing a 6 hour bingo game.  If you want in, message me in super secretness, because it’s illegal to play bingo in NC for more than 5 hours.

We don’t want the cops showing up and busting up our nursing home style bingo game. I want to know what happens after 5 hours... It might only last 5 hours and 15 minutes if Ethel starts flipping tables.  We’ll see.   Let me know if you’re interested in participating. I’m bringing a taser in case anything wild happens after the 5 hour mark (for everyone’s safety).

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