We have to do all we can to avoid WW12

By Chuck Thompson | The Sunday Column

OPINION – With the war in Ukraine and the War in Iran, we are just one step away from World War 12. At least according to one U.S. House of Representative Member from Minnesota.

Most others have laughed in astonishment and joked, "Where's World War 3-11, I never learned about those?" And history scholars might say "4-11" but that's because they know that World War II (that's a two, not an eleven) was mislabeled and technically the 3rd world war, but no matter, because when you don't know much about history (or Roman numerals) it can sometimes be a bit embarrassing, especially when you're an esteemed member of Congress.

And who says our government-run education system isn't just peachy?

So how many World Wars have there been, so far? Two? No. Three? Yes, there’s already been three of them. However, that still doesn’t add up to 11.

In 1775, there was “the shot heard around the world,” a term used to describe something never before attempted (and mostly misused in interpreting it to mean the birth of the great experiment; an action that would inspire people of other countries to rebel against their monarchs and spread democracy across the globe)

… But this isn’t entirely true.

The American Revolution was in fact a global conflict, a spark from a shot fired at the Battle of Lexington and Concord, that would become an international conflict and signaled the first ever World War in known history.

Had this war officially been labeled WORLD WAR ONE it could have saved simple embarrassment from calling it World War Eleven in a speech some 250 years later, because the “II” would have been written as “III” but since it was not... here we are…

The American Revolution (because to call it World War One would take it away from being all about us) was fought across three (technically four) continents, as far away as India, West Africa and in the Caribbean, but major power players and their colonies, as what started as an internal civil conflict, grew to involve battles across several continents, three oceans and would linger until the War of 1812, that ended in 1815. The French, British, Dutch, Americans, Barbary Pirates, Morocco, India, the Caribbean, Spain and others all being pulled into the conflict. With Spain, France and The Dutch Republic and some Native American Tribes all being the “Allies” while various German states, India, Canada, Florida, Jamaica, Barbados, and some Native American tribes were the “Axis” of the day.

There is your First World War. That’s why I’ve never technically heard of WW4-11. But what do I know? I’m not a sitting U.S. House of Representatives member.

But let’s go further…

Technically there have been four World Wars, but we call it Napoleon’s ego.

Technically there could possibly have been five World Wars, but we call it the Franco-Prussian War of 1870, when Germany invaded France just as it would repeat itself in 1914, and again in May of 1940. But there weren’t many other players involved in this war between the Germans and the French; so even though it mirrors the western front of The Great War, I don’t consider this technically a world war.

We could even go further back and say there have been six world wars, such as the Gothic War of 535 - 554, when the Eastern Roman Empire attempted to reconquer the lands of the former Western Roman Empire. A conflict that would entangle The Franks (France), Visigoths (Spain) The Ostrogoths (Italy) all of the Eastern Roman Empire (which was on two continents), the Vandals in North Africa, the Balkans, and even the Germanic Tribes east of the Rhine and somewhat spill into the British Isles.

This war was a war of attrition and genocide that depopulated the Italian peninsula and helped usher in the Dark Ages across mainland Europe.

If there ever was a world war that sent everyone back to “the Stone Age” (metaphorically) it was the Gothic War.

No more running water inside homes, public baths, public toilets, taxed-based public education systems, a senate, vacation / holidays for the wealthy, a formal mail service, recreational activities and civilized every day life … the medieval ages set in across Europe from this war that depopulated western and Central Europe so bad it took a thousand years just to figure out how to make concrete again…

Imagine what could happen nowadays with a war so horrific as the Gothic War of 535-554..

So, now we’re at six world wars, while I stand firmly at already actually having three. Yes, World War TWO was mislabeled because they decided to call The Great War, World War One. Anyways… (a history buff's prerogative).

I’ll give the U.S. Representative from Minnesota credit for three World Wars, but while most people only technically count two of them, historians would agree that The American Revolution was the First official World War.

But okay, we’re at six… can we get to 11 world wars? Probably not, yet.

Whether you agree there’s been more than two world wars or just two, knowing the simplistic base of general history (and a bit of common sense) would tell you that if you were about to read something as “World War (II) Eleven” you might automatically stop and think, “Wait a minute… that doesn’t sound right? Why? Because I paid attention in class and can use deductive reasoning.

You don’t have to know the details, but as a non-scholar of history, you could figure out that World War 2 ended just 81 years ago, so when did we have nine more WORLD wars?

Korea? Vietnam? Desert Storm? Iraq and Afghanistan? War with Iran? These were very limited conflicts, even if international proxies were pulling the strings. None of these conflicts were a global conflict that devastated regions of entire continents.

You might could say The Cold War was a World War, but... it was a cold war, not an actual war of armies and devastation, per se, and thus doesn't count; however, if you want to count that as a World War that's fine, we're still missing several world wars to get to eleven.

Even if you’re a history buff and count WWII (2) as the third world war (as it absolutely should be labeled, and forget all those other conflicts) that still leaves 4-11 missing in action; along with any basic understanding of history (or Roman numbers).

And history dooms those to repeat it that know nothing of it. Kinda scary when you're an elected member of Congress. Yikes!

It is very important to know history, as it teaches us what not to do, just like a child learning not to touch a hot stove.

History isn’t some boring story of dates and events of something that doesn’t affect you (as many think) it very much affects your life today and your future descendants, too. History is a guide book of what works and what doesn’t. A warning to all those ignorant to what happened the last time a country passed this law or ignored that law, invaded a certain country or attempted an assassination such as the Archduke of Austrian-Hungary, which showed what alliances do when the shit hits the fan. Germany apparently didn't learn, or ignored, what happened to Napoleon's French Army when it invaded Russia and suffered a similar (probably much worse) fate.

Nobody talks of the great generic migration in the latter days of Ancient Rome and how the tax burden of the citizens worked too heavily on the services it offered to everyone, not just citizens, but the tax paying citizens carried the financial weight of the cost for all - citizens and non-citizens alike.

Rome didn’t collapse from a foreign army or because it lost a war of attrition. Rome collapsed (at least the original Western Roman Empire) because only Rome could destroy Rome. Its population swelled due to unmitigated immigration without the tax base to support the ever increasing weight of services. Its wealth grew to where men refused to serve in the military and thus the German migrants soon made up a majority of the military to gain citizenship. It collapsed because provinces lost faith in its bloated bureaucracy and chose to break away and fend for themselves, it collapsed as the currency was debased and inflation became more dangerous to the average persons’ ability to survive than did the dangers form the Huns, disease or famine.

Taxation became so burdensome to pay for public services for anyone to use, citizen or not, that the system collapsed from the inside and eventually, when nothing by remained of the Western Roman Empire except that of Italy and Dalmatia (the Balkans) General Odacer, a German in the Latin Roman Army led a coup de tat against Romulus Augustus and sent the imperial insignia to Constantinople and Odacer declared himself KING OF ITALY because there was no longer an empire to rule.

In 489 the Goths invaded Italy, and by 493 they killed Odacer and his officers at a banquet of peace and ruled the Italian peninsula as regent to the Eastern Empire, but soon The Eastern Roman Empire (we call The Byzantines) invaded 40 years later to take back the lost lands and the first ancient world war broke out which ushered in the Medieval Ages across mainland Europe.

So, while it isn’t necessary to know all the facts of history, it is important to know the general principles and warnings, and that if the last world war was called “TWO” be it accurate or not, the ROMAN NUMERAL for 2 is II (Not eleven) And after two, comes three.

And even though I firmly believe WWII was actually WWIII, there still hasn’t been eleven world wars that I can come up with (in my opinion), so it’s important to know when something seems wrong - off - misprinted, or just maybe you don’t know your Roman numerals, but usually common sense helps straighten a few things out, even if you don’t know two or three licks about history. Sometimes deductive reasoning makes all the difference in speeches and avoiding embarrassment when you're not quite sure about what happened just eight decades ago...

It's been 81 years since World War "eleven" ended. So, for the sake of our great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren, lets do all we can to take lessons from the rule book of history of what not to do, to do all we can to prevent World War XXII from happening (that's "12" for anyone helping govern our nation that doesn't know what that means, because it'll take a long time to get to 12. Hopefully).

Have a great week.

Copyright MMXXVI, The Shelby Independent.

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