Does the six foot rule work for winter storms?

Chuck Thompson | The Sunday Column

OPINION / HUMOR – First, you have to understand that while you’re reading this on Sunday (or later) during Icemegeddon, I am writing this on Friday night, eating all my winter storm snacks and typing away, having no clue more than the weatherman on what would actually happen by Sunday. As a friend mentioned to me today, "Being a weatherman is the only job where you can be wrong most of the time and not get fired." By the time you read this.... either, we are buried in snow, it is snowing, there's ice, or the freezing rain is falling to become ice, or, it's like the 2014 Denver Broncos at the Super Bowl, all hype and a total letdown. Whatever the result, just roll with it and enjoy the column.

I hope we all get lucky and this is just blown way out of proportion. Wishful thinking maybe, but nothing wrong with hoping for the best. I guess we have all found out by now - or it was postponed, again.

However, there’s no need to panic until Bojangles closes. It's the best way to tell if a storm is bad.  Bojangles is supposed to open at 6 a.m., so if you call and they don’t answer the phone it’ll give you an idea of what’s it’s like across the area. 

Speaking of food…. 

Raise your hand if you’ve already eaten all your storm snacks and now you’re going to be hungry all weekend.  

I'm asking for …. a friend. 

We’re all going to get fat like it’s 2020 but it’s because of winter they’re making us stay home this time.  If I were married, (for what felt like hundreds of years) this would be a perfect excuse to always stay 6 feet away from my wife all weekend.  “State of an emergency honey, just like 2020 except because of the weather this time.” 

Please DON’T say that to your wife — it’s only funny to us, she won’t think it’s funny at all.  But … go ahead and prove Darwin right if you can’t resist, and give her another reason to be mad at you.

I can’t promise the ambulance or the police will get to you in this inclement weather, in time to stop her, while she’s in the process of putting you close to Jesus’ doorstep.

Stay safe.

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